Thursday, 18 October 2007

Sweet surrender

You are going to think I'm the worst kind of trollop, but I'm here to admit that I am smitten once again.

Last time it was the flashy, trashy Clappy that came on like the executive assisstant after a few bubblies at the office christmas bash*; this time I have been gently wooed and finally succumbed to the subtle and serene beauty of the humble sock.

I'm not going to claim it's been all sunsets and heavy breathing - no indeed, this relationship got off to a slow (dare I say rocky?) start - those first few rows on dpns made finding our rhythm together a little tricky.

I was slow to warm up to the round and round and round of rib, then stocking stitch. But I thought we were getting somewhere - like ready to start the heel.

Then, as is often the way, it took an outsider to observe that things may not all be fine and dandy. "Hmmm, its rather...big, dontcha think George?" observed Bells on the weekend. "But I'm using Happy Spider's basic pattern in the small size! How can anything possibly be wrong?" said I.

A count of stitches showed that I had 76 - fine, if I was doing the calf shaping as written into Ms Spider's pattern. Which decreases the number of stitches to closer to 60 when its time to start the heel. Der.

Luckily for me, Ms Spider's patterns come with a free 24-hour counselling hotline. Several angst-ridden emails and a calming phone call later, she had the sock and I back on speaking terms, and we felt like we'd really turned a corner in our relationship.

And here it is: one sock, stitch count waaaay out, but with a turned heel and partly decreased gusset:

Isn't it pretty? It might be a little wonky, but but I'm satisfied now that the sock and I are back on solid ground. I'm flying down the foot, and have discovered what everyone else already knows: the deep and abiding love that is sock knitting.

A comfortable, easy relationship; now we've got the maths sorted, certainly not high maintenance. No jealousy here - its happy to be picked up and put down at a moments notice, for a round or two while Pirate Jim eats breakfast or while I'm waiting for the pasta to boil (assuming the pirate isn't trying to play with the knife block or pretend the dog is the dishwasher and trying to find the place to put the detergent tablet).

It might be short grabs of togetherness, but its quality time. And that's what counts.

*disclosure: I have edited this analogy - my first attempt was a little unthinking and possibly hurtful to people I care about. Sorry if you read it and were offended - that wasn't my intention. Think first, post later, George!


kms said...

lol, i knew once you tried it youd be back! and of course i completely relate to the tempestuous nature of the relationship (let us not speak of toe ups ever again) and i still have trouble with the first few rows and the 'be careful not to twist the stitches' bit, but so far it is the best type of knitting relationship ive encountered. i hope pj did not succeed in his attempt to turn brock into a washing machine, by the way.

Rose Red said...

You are right you know - sock knitting is really like marriage - a long term solid relationship, always there to support you through the tough times, good for a quick burst of satisfaction ("quality time") or even sustained experiences of togetherness ("holidays") and will still even be there after the brief affairs with the flashy clappy!!

Bells said...

Oh God. The amount of steamy metaphors here, both in the post and comments, has me rolling in the aisles. What a crack up.

I'm so glad things are solid. So very glad. yay for Ms Spider!

Michelle said...

Tha last line had me shed a tear. Then it rolled gently down my cheek and onto the sock in my lap.

'Tis true, the love of a girl and her handmade sock, borne of love and frustration.

Bells said...

ha! I take offense at your suggestion that EAs are floozies. I used to be one, you know. Hmph.

Taphophile said...

Personally had no problem with the first post. But in our case it was an English Teacher. ;) Poor man. Go the knitting open relationship.

Five Ferns Fibreholic said...

Hear Hear!!!! The relationship with the sock is so much easier than the one with my teenage daughter. No hormonal outbursts and it never reminds me that it's only 2 years away from being old enough to drive.

kms said...

yeah i thought the first analogy was pretty funny too, it was a science teacher at my school!

Donna Lee said...

The first few rows of sock relationship on dpns is like any new relationship. It's twiddly and awkward but falls neatly into place as time goes by. The socks look beautiful. Congrats!

Jejune said...

LOL, your posts are getting more lascivious every time - where will it all end??!!!

Very glad the new relationship is coming along so well! And that boy of yours - goodness me, he's ... inventive!

MadMad said...

I'm so glad I'm a knitter. You people are way funnier than the "humor" bloggers. And DEFINITELY more than the mommy ones. (SHHH! Don't tell anyone, or I'll report you to the EA Commission!)