Tuesday, 9 October 2007

URGENT - Feral Sock Warning!

BE ALERT, NOT ALARMED: FAUX FERAL SOCKS SIGHTED IN CANBERRA ENVIRONS



Issued: Tuesday October 9th 2007

Department: Bureau of Invasive Garments, Department of Knitting and Associated Crafts (DoKAC), Canberra

Priority: HIGH

The Department of Knitting and Associated Crafts (DoKAC) issued a High Priority Alert today in the wake of several sightings of the potentially dangerous and highly invasive Faux feral species of sock. All residents, especially knitters and crocheters, are warned to be on the look-out for specimens.

Faux feral socks are easily recognised by their distinctively patterned pelts, usually in contrasting but complimentary colours. They are most commonly found in pairs, but older specimens may occur singly.

F. feral can survive in most urban settings. They are excellent climbers, and are generally arboreal.

Pair of F. feral in their preferred habitat
F. feral are generally shy and will seek cover.

However, when mating, as with all species of sock, they are found on the ground in sheltered habitats.


Mating pair of F. feral. Note the distinctive entwined coupling.

F. feral will often approach domestic environments to find food and water, particularly in the current drought conditions.


Most importantly, residents should be aware that domestic socks of all species, particularly Business sockii, are in danger of predation by F. feral. A shortage of the natural prey items of F. feral has led to increased incidence of injury and death of B. sockii. Residents should avoid leaving domestic socks unattended, especially if they are tethered.

F. feral feeding on domestic sock species

Any sightings of Faux feral should be reported to DoKAC immediately on the hotline number 1800-FERALSOCK.

Residents should not confuse Faux feral with the similarly patterned, perfectly harmless domesticated sock, Faux fairisle. Should they, Trent?

20 comments:

Five Ferns Fibreholic said...

That last picture...is just too funny for words. You have caught the sock knitter's bug. There's no turning back now!!!!

Bells said...

Wow this blog is clever as well as informative. I'll be especially on the lookout. It's good to know the Government is on top of such matters. I wonder if this is going to be a key election issue?

Bells said...

Also, I just insisted Sean read this. While pissing himself laughing he said, 'you're all f*cking mad!'

Why, yes we are. :-)

kms said...

roflmao!! i had a suspicion you were breeding a pair of those but youve kept it a bit dark havent you? your innner mad scientist is showing george :) welcome to the faux fairisle club, very nice work!!

amy said...

Sorry, can't type anything coherent, laughing too hard...

Trent said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trent said...

one slight faux pas and you're all in fits of laughter- well done.

Rose Red said...

Ha! You rock. As does BIG DoKAC!

Dave said...

Totally hilarious -- well done!

MadMad said...

Too funny, woman! I love the mating picture! Hysterical!

TinkingBell said...

Yuk yuk!!! - But great heavens - WHERE'S MY FRIDGE MAGNET?????

You've got to have a fridge magnet for a threat like this!!!

gemma said...

You came to my rescue. I was having a cr*ppy day, but now I have tears of laughter streaming down instead.
thanks chick!

rhonrhon said...

They should all be caught, tagged and made to have bells so we can hear them coming. Clever girl!

The Shopping Sherpa said...

Just brilliant.

But we don't get fridge magnets anymore, we get full coloured magazines in plastic bags dropped through our letterboxes (it's election year, afterall). Suspect mine has been held up in the post...

:-)

Donna Lee said...

So, is this a localized outbreak or should we here in the northern hemisphere be wary as well? Now I will be looking in the underbrush. It will be hard for them to hide in the trees as the leaves are falling.

Kate said...

Is this species only local to your region, or are they wolrd-wide? I'm going to have to check the bushes out back now.

Taphophile said...

Do you think if we inject the single socks that breed in the laundry with moth larvae we could tame the ferals?

happyspider said...

OMG! i totally have an infestation... and would never have known withuot this public service announcement! thankyou georgie!

Michelle said...

You deserve a Public Service Medal for this advice, George. I'm contacting the PM on Monday to advise of your diligence.

Jejune said...

ROFL, I know I'm late getting to this post, damn, they've probably got to my place already! Oh noes!! :D